Stay
by Viburnum
Summary: Can Kitty and Lance Still attain a loving realationship even if Kitty is pregnant with someone else's child? And WHO is the father?


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- **_Disclaimer: I don't own so you are not going to sue._**

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**_- Warning: This story has many mature themes and swearing so I strongly rated it PG-13 but it will not reach the boundaries to create that amount of explicitness or graphical presentations. _**

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                                                                                              **_Stay  
                                                                                                   _**_~One~_

                -    _Mistake_

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                                  -  _" I look into your eyes,_

                                                            _And see it reflecting the soul of mine._

_                                             I look into your face,_

_                                                                  And Smile for it made my heart a blissful case._

_                                               So why do you flee,_

_                                                                             You know we are meant to be._

_                                                   You have not sinned, a mistake spun out of innocence,_

_                                                                                                                               Can always be forgiven._

_                                                      So please darling angel,_

_                                                                                           Do not leave me stranded._

_                                                      For you know how helpless I can be,_

_                                                                                                        When you're not beside me._

_                                                         And the only words I can say is,_

_                                                                                                              **Stay**."_

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**                                                       - O**_h God, I am afraid, afraid of what has become of me. Afraid, that this might bring the end of me. Afraid that I might be forever indebted to someone I do not wish to be. It's a mistake, it…it's a…mistake but I can't tell that what price I have to pay for it. All I know that I was once a happy teenage girl –now? You decide. I know I did wrong, I realized my error but…but realizing them after the negative was done was stupid! It cannot be altered and I realized that I might lose everything for this: Even Him._

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**                                                                            -  T**he day started out in the daily routine but something didn't feel right. I started going to the bathroom when I felt a slight dizziness. I realized that I was at this party the other night but fear gripped my whole being as the sudden discovery grasped my mind. I did not remember what I did at the party. I gasped, this was **not**, and I definitely mean **not** a good sign. I mean like I usually remembered what I did at a party maybe not **everything** but I remembered, but now I can't remember **anything**. Basically, my mind would entrap itself with this issue trying to figure out why the empty slots in my head aren't filled with the memory serving me to fulfill the urge to know, but as I saw the red digital numbers of my alarm clock producing the figures 7:15. 

**                                                                        - I** got into the showers and a splitting headache appeared on every portion of my brain and I clasped hold of my forehead and almost sank down to the floor like a statue dynamited out of its position. _What's wrong with me?_ My pain magnified itself by each moment and I though my mind turned to the infinite sea of black for a while but then reality pulled me out once more. _Is this a hangover?_ I thought positively shocked, B_ut…But I don't drink? _Last night was an escaped dream to me, could I have drunk some alcoholic beverages while I was at the party? No, damn way! I knew I hadn't drunk any hard drinks! I know I didn't!

                                                                                -   "**W**ell," I muttered, "I guess I should think about it later. Right now I need to get to school." Usually, a person in my condition would probably decide to hit the covers again after having some medicine knowing that sleep would get the better of the plague within and dispose of it. But that sweet thought was not an available option to me. I remember blowing several computers in the com lab once. The teacher, though she didn't despise me, still thought that I could be a nuisance. I had to do well in the practical text today nor else I might be even kicked out.

**                                                                      -     I** got out and dressed and arrived at the dining hall, which was packed with hungry young X-men as usual. As appetite seized to have come to me I decided just to take a carton of juice incase I do become hungry and I might like also need some energy for the test. I got out of the house early, my head felt like some chaos was waging war with one another and they have chosen my mind as a battlefield. I felt extremely nauseating but what was I supposed to do? Yesterday was a blur like some distant buried memory of the past that though I willed to unearth my mind forbade me so, putting a seal on it thinking I might regret knowing it.

                                            - "**M**aybe I'll ask Kurt," I thought out loud, "He was at Joan's party probably he knows what happened to me."

                                                                            - "**H**ey Kitty." A very masculine, a very nice warm voice greeted me, I voice that I kept on playing in my mind though the person wasn't there.

                                                                 - "**L**ance!'" I said with enthusiasm, though I knew my voice sounded definitely out of order and ill mannered for my headache I still longed that it sounded pleasant.

                                                         - "**K**itty,' he sounded concerned, "Are you okay?"

**                                                                                - I **realized that aside from my voice my appearance also tasted sourly and it was not pleasing sight and I found that I was cursing myself. I knew I could have asked the Professor for help before I stepped put now Lance must see me in this depressing vision. My eyes looked like they were going to close after a few moments and my physic looked vulnerable and pretty messed up. Oh God why does Lance see me like this, and then the realization hit me like I was a tennis ball and the racket hit my face in a full-fledged blow. Everyone in school will see me like this!

**                                                                 -**"**K**itty did you drink last night at Joan's party?" He looked completely baffled with the perplexed look on his face, "Because it seems to me you've got a hangover."

**                                                                           -    N**ow, that really made, my eyes grow large as two moons as I repeated what Lance said in my head. This can't be! I mean I never drank in my entire life, though my friends in some occasions I never even tried. Call me a loser but the fact of tasting liquor at the age of fifteen quite didn't appeal to me. Now I might think Lance was telling the truth for he was an eighteen year old and he was a Brotherhood member so that didn't mean that he was a saint. He surely experienced a hangover once or twice but that didn't _I_ was having one.

                                                                            -"**N**ow Lance I know I may look pretty messed up this morning but that doesn't mean I had a hangover." I said with a voice of complete irritation, Lance knew me well enough to know my opinion on alcoholic drinks.

                                                                              -  " **K**itty I know this seems bad but you must go home and take a rest." Lance advised, "Hangovers are pretty sucky and besides they are not the type of thing to have when you are going out."

                                                                                - "**L**ance I know I didn't drink anything so I don't have a hangover besides you weren't at the party anyways so how can you be so positive I drank something." Oh, I was pretty exasperated and Lance suddenly looked a bit helpless.

                                                                           - "**C**'mon Kitty I'm sorry," he chased after me as I walked away, "I mean I didn't mean to piss you off."

                                                     - **A**s I walked away though Lance followed me with his apologetic remarks I realized that my anger was not directed to Lance at all but to the fact _he_ may be _right_: What if I did drink last night? I mean come on I didn't remember stuff and I had a raging headache clinging on my head as a parasite wanting to devour my brain. There was evidence but I wanted to confirm from Kurt and Tabitha. They were the only ones who had gone to the party with it as Joan was a new girl she didn't invite much people but some came along uninvited. But I was definitely was going to ask them what happened. But a voice at the back of my head said_, You'll regret that you ever been to that party for the rest of your life._

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                                                                                  ~* **_Three Months Later_** *~

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                                                                                     -    "**K**itty Watch out!" Rogue screamed but too late, the mental ball hit directly at my arm and I found the ground greeting me. I was surprised that I could still swing my arm a bit for the ball had emitted such energy that it could've crushed my hand into power. I yelped as the hell's guardian pain smiled on me and pressed my arm more tighter that I could feel the tendons and other tissues suffer from its massive claws of raw evil.

                                                                                              -"**O**WW!" I screamed not able to push the tears away, they sought the exit of my orbs and fell down to my pale cheeks which had become even more whiter due to the fact I felt the blood drain away from my face. I felt pain so intensified that I couldn't describe it. It felt like someone had blemished my skin with molten iron. I haven't been well for the last few weeks, my mind failed me sometimes and my stomach seemed to have vanished for the amount of times I went sick in the bathroom. The Professor told me that he would be more than happy to give me a thorough check up but I had declined his request telling him all I needed was relaxation but even my voice betrayed me. Today however I felt my health regenerating and so I had decided to do one of the danger room exercises with my friends ignoring their protesting glances.

                                                                                      - **I** really do wish now that I had listened to them, in the middle of the course I began to have the feeling that consciousness was going away, leaving me stranded by the recessive subconscious. This was the reason to why I got hit by some boomerangs, which had razor sharp spines protruding out of them like they were the teeth of some mythical monster. They bit through my legs and I gave a shriek as I almost tripped and fell on the metallic ground, which encases the danger room. I could have dodged them with utter ease or use my shadow powers to let them pass through my body. But my concentration seemed to flee me like my consciousness was about to do a few minutes earlier. Luckily the wound got my alarm on again and I was able to avoid the last two attacks of the boomerangs, which seemed to have developed a craving on my flesh. I clutched my wound, its severe pain piercing through my entire body making me shake as the sensation surged onwards. The bleeding seemed infinite and it blended with the ash-black floor, which caused it to shimmer in an unnatural way. My face converted itself into a painful mask as I almost bit my lip. That is when the sphere hit me out of nowhere.

                                                                                                - " **S**top the session!" I heard a voice yell over the destructive and mechanical noises and could unmistakably identify it as Scott's

**                                                                                                          - T**hey all rushed towards with worried faces, "Kitty are you alright?" Jean called on me. I was about to tell them I was fine when my vision seemed to fade and the mind turned to a dark cloak veiling my view. I tried to raise my hands as if trying to brush aside the black blanket to clear my sight but my hands seemed to have lost its nerve cording to my brain for I told it to move but it wouldn't obey as if paralysis of some kind had gotten me and held me tight. Black seemed to pour onwards as some demon was playing a joke on me and was dipping my head with black paint. This abyss was showing me its fondness of me and pulled me in telling me it'll keep me safe and Though I wanted to go back its sinful charm caressed me as I remembered Kurt screaming at my name as I fell.

                                                                  - **A** light shone over and seeped through my eyelids and kissed my naked eye allowing my senses to spring back alive and so I opened my eyes and raise my hand to block the intensely illuminating light. After some minutes the light seemed to lose some of its flaring magic for it dimmed down to the normal level then the actuality came to me. The light wasn't too bright but as darkness had consumed me for so long that the sudden change had caused this action.

                                                                 - "**W**here am I?" I muttered out aloud, trying to make the sense of things all I remembered was blacking out in the middle of the danger room.

                                                              - "**O**h thank God Kitty, are you okay?" The Professor hurried in and he had the most concerned face I had ever seen.

                                                              - "**N**o." I said honestly, "I should've listened to you Professor like when you told me that you should see if I was okay, now I feel like crap."

                                                             - "**Y**es, Kitty, I took the liberty to check on you when you were unconscious." Ororo joined in, "We found out…we found out why you are having these problems."

                                                              - "**W**ell," I looked at them skeptically, "What's wrong Professor, Ororo? Why am I having these problems?"

                                                              - **O**roro looked at the Professor in a sense of desperation. Like the words were something her tongue did not approve of and the Professor looked at her and he gave her a positive signal with his eyes that'll he'll tell me though he too looked like something wasn't right and he didn't want to tell me the news either.

                                                               - **F**ear, Oh I am so afraid, what's wrong with me? Is there a vast range of problems concerning my mutation that'll ultimately lead me to oblivion?  The Silence that was stretching was mocking me and I berated it. Why were they looking so worried? What's wrong?

                                                            - "**P**rof-essor," I stuttered as I envisioned the chaos surrounding me, "What's wrong…wrong with me?"

                                                          - **S**till he and Ororo gave their eyes in other directions. They felt that it was something that'll create a wound in my heart.

                                                          -"**P**rofessor please, "My level of voice was increasing, I was afraid and frustrated that those two were just…just standing there, "Please tell me."

                                                           - "**K**itty," Professor broke the silence and he closed his eyes for a while as he inhaled a deep breath, "You're… you're pregnant."

                                                            - **S**hattered, my whole being was shattered like a vase, which was inflicted on the ground. I… I didn't hear right? I…I'm pregnant? No…no… no… I can't be! I'm not pregnant!

                                                           - "**C**hild." Ororo eyes widened as she saw my tears as they automatically fell from my orbs trying to release the wound inflicted in my heart. They formed naturally as my sorrow had and I welcomed them.

                                                            - "**K**itty." Professor was wearing the same reaction as Ororo was and his face had guilt blanketing it as some dark cape. He knew it wasn't a good idea to tell me immediately as I woke but c'mon I had to know sooner or later but, but I can't be pregnant! I'm still a virgin! Or…or was I! I had this strange 'looseness' feeling in my lower region ever since that…that party! Oh no! Oh God! Oh no!

                                                     - "**I**'m not pregnant," My mind was fixed in a daze and I was staring like a possible lunatic as the dews from my eyes grew, "YOU'RE WRONG! I'm NOT PREGNANT! YOU'RE LYING"

                                                    - **T**he huge amounts of tears that had suppressed itself came out from my eyes as I started to give myself away to sadness. In a moment Ororo rushed forward and put her arms around me and tried to placate me but I had lost all control and it was like I was in the middle of doom or experiencing nervous breakdown. The professor was also trying his best to stop me from crying but their attempts were nothing but futile means to close up my wounded heart.

                                                   - **F**or God's sake I was only fifteen! What'll my friends say? What'll my parents say? What'll people in school say? What will society say? Oh my God I was only a normal healthy teenage girl but now I was, was…becoming a mother. I should have known, there was evidence to prove the fact right. I had this strange feeling on my stomach ever since the party like something was inside me. I passed it for some of those unusual phases people go through so I ignored it completely though it felt extremely foreign to me and my period had not come. I thought that my cycle date changed, guess…guess I was wrong. Also the major fact was that neither Kurt nor Tabitha had seen me after a few minutes we arrived at the Party. They say when they went home I wasn't there and they figured I was with other friends. When I told Tabitha I didn't remember anything she nervously told me that to forget about it. Probably she was nervous cause I seemed extremely concerned by the topic.

                                                              - "**C**hild, please stop crying." I listened to Ororo and though I wanted to soak up her words and convert them to some kind of bandage to heal my soul it was a foolish effort. My heart brushed it aside for it was heaving with too many sorrows now.

                                                             - "**O**h Professor," I sobbed, "I didn't mean for this too happen. I don't even know who the father is?"

                                                             - "**W**hy not Kitty?" The Professor was astounded and suddenly I thought he built the profile that I had slept with many men before.

                                                             - "**P**rofessor, up till now I had considered myself as a virgin but I guess I'm not." I know I was uncomfortable speaking the word 'Virgin' in front of the face of my Professor but what could I do I mean I was becoming a mother. I explained everything to both of them, what had happened at the party how I didn't remember anything and so on.

                                                          - **T**he Professor closed his eyes and he raised his hands and his fingers pressed on one another. His thinking stature, "I understand now Kitty," he said slowly, "Do you want an abortion?"

                                                        - **M**any would have said yes, but I did not dare utter the word on my lips. Yes, it was true I had not wanted a child this way but that doesn't mean I would dispose of it in such a grotesque manner. As a human being I will not low down to such measures for they were disgusting, inhuman and obscene. The fetus, though an incomplete creature was still a living one and I would never do such a vile thing as abortion. Never! I know you might be thinking, She is such a bitch, first of all she doesn't want the baby and now she's complaining bout losing it. But think for a while, the embryo was still a part of you and if you eradicated that part you'll be killing a part of you. Also, it was an unborn life, yes it's living but it has not even seen anything. Well I do not hate people who do abortions but I know they have valid reasons for doing so and a part of them regrets doing so.

                                                        - " **N**o Professor, I'll keep the baby," I said, "I'll do everything in my power to hide the fact from my child that how he/she was born I don't want him/her to suffer from mental and physical illness to loom over the subject that he/she was an accident."

                                                             - "**I** understand completely Kitty. You thought in a mature way. I'm proud of you and don't worry I could take a DNA sample and analyze it with our computers. It'll help to resolve the identity of your child's father but until then I'll make sure you are kept in the best of health."

                                                              - **M**y lips curved themselves into a smile. Yes bitter cold was still cursing my form but the Professor's sincerity on me was able to chisel the ice a bit. I was happy that I wasn't facing this alone I needed someone to aid me through this.

                                                             - "**I**'ll also inform the students and your parents about this matter." The professor said quietly.

                                                            - **I**t was shock that knocked me down first but then anger somehow managed to break me first and more acid poured in my veins. "Professor! Are you crazy! Why would you let the whole world know!" my voice level had increased dramatically like if it were a raging storm unable to control its anger on the earth below. Realization took me in when I saw Ororo's surprised face. My eyes found the ground as shame covered my face. I had not meant to scream at the Professor in such a fashion.

                                                         - "**I** know its hard Kitty," The Professor explained, his voice still fragile and warm pushing aside my furious outburst, "But they are your friends Kitty, They need to know and they'll help you. Kitty, not telling them won't stop them from finding out the truth later onwards, I have to say the same with your parents."

                                                              - **I** nodded, he was telling the truth. I mean When a person gets pregnant its something that she can't hide I mean c'mon our stomach stands out so I mean…it'll be a matter of time before everyone finds out. And…And I was afraid, I know they were many girls of my age, younger or older in my school who'd gotten pregnant due to the unprotected sex they had with their loved ones but…but that was different! They had made love! Made love and having sex were two different things! Making love is the physical way of expressing the intimate feelings you had for that person you care about and sex was just…just satisfying the lust your body gains due to those hormones! And…and I don't know who I had done this with, probably I could have been…been raped, Oh God why me? I know what people will say, they'll say, 'I never thought it can be _her_.'

                                                         - "**K**itty get some rest," Ororo placed her hand on my shoulder in efforts to break the increasing ice freezing my insides, "You had a rough day get some rest."

                                                        - **M**y eyes wandered through the door. It seemed my eyes were imagining my friends outside. They probably will be there as I recalled their worried faces. I couldn't face them now; it seemed pretty disastrous in my part.

                                                        - "**D**on't worry I told them to go and have dinner, though they were very reluctant to agree I was able to make them finally persuade them. I knew that you would not be comfortable in meeting them straight away." The professor had sensed and seen the nervousness surrounding me and I gained a feeling of utter relief as I slowly left the room.

                                                      - **A**s I walked towards my room I could hear the distant conversations of my friends and the clacking of their utensils at the dining area. I moved a bit slowly due to my injuries. My left arm was broken and those deadly boomerangs had caused a deep wound on both of my thighs so I was attired in many bandages. I entered my room and slowly closed the door. I proceeded in undressing myself and changing into my pajamas. It took more time than necessary for it was hard to maneuver yourself in full efficiency with multiple wounds. 

                                                     - **I** slowly landed my body on the soft mattress of my bed and for a brief period I had bit my lip due to a sudden pain for my thigh had roughly grazed itself on the material. I pulled the covers over my head and closed my eyes but though how physically and mentally fatigued I was sleep was still not giving me notice for thought was something that was blocking it. I felt a bitter remorse in my core for I had no knowledge whatsoever in the actions I was specified to do to be a proper parent. Also, what if the father of my child rejects us (meaning my child and me) saying that he'll take no part of this situation. How could I then move on alone? How could I raise the child myself? Also the child's life plays a highly valid role here, to grow up without your father. I know he'll take to some very unpleasant issues, which I will never be able to reprimand even if I so desired. But then another thing set my frozen insides to crash and shatter:

                                                       - **L**ance.

                                                - **I** found that I was suffocating as if some insane entity was drowning me right in the midst of my sadness. Oh Lance, I love you so much, yes, we had our differences but I LOVE YOU yet now…my love seems to stand no meaning for in me spawns the seed of another and upon hearing that you'll leave me for sure. A man cannot live with the woman who is entitled to have someone else's child. I know he loved me but…but he will feel the gargantuan blows of betrayal. What if he doesn't give me a chance to explain the truth? What the f—k am I saying! I had no recollection of the truth myself what am I going to say to him! I love you so but now I've surely lost you. Goodbye my love, hope we can be united in another lifetime…

                                               - **A**nd with that Dream finally pushed aside logic and conquered me to surrender to subconscious. It embraced telling me reality was a sin and that fantasy was the better realm. He gave the key to unlock the door and soon I disappeared, feeling myself fade away…

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                                                                     ~* **_To Be Continued_** *~

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**_Author's Note: _**_Ok, that was the first chapter. I hoped you liked it. Oh yes I want to point out that I have nothing against abortion for I'm neither against it or for it I just wanted to portrait the thoughts of people who do think of it negatively. I mean if people wanna do abortion feeling it's the right choice, who am I to judge? Well I'll update soon! Oh bye the way **HAPPY NEW YEAR AND I HOPE ALL YOUR WISHES AND DREAMS FOR THE YEAR 2004 COME TRUE!**_

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